Well… Tomorrow is graduation.

Well I’ve been typing in DVORAK for 2+ weeks now and I’m finally feeling confident enough to write normally. So yay… I’ve done it. I’m proficient enough to use it normally without it being too inconvenient.

Anyways, I’m writing this because I have some time while a customers computer is backing up. AND of course I GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL TOMORROW (or today by the time I’m done with this).

I’m speaking on seeking council from people who know more than you… Parents, mentors, teachers, friends– probably in that order, hah.

Tonight was my “killer production” at the church.  We had an 11-man crew which was manned by ALL youth av techs except our main camera operator, who is our church A/V director.  We put on a show that will be remembered forever I’m Shure (oh very punny for you audio nerds).  “Without Silence” played and put on quite a show and of course praised some Jesus!  I’m really blessed to be involved with my specific church and the band.

Also, I just got a pair of Ultrasone PRO 750 Headphones.  They are my best friend at the moment.  I’m currently listening to the amazingly intricate MuteMath album, basking in parts I’ve never heard on any other speakers or headphones.

Let’s see… what else has been going on…

I’m very excited to get back to work at the Eglin Air Force Research Laboratory.  A) I get to make decent money.  B) I really enjoy challenging myself with the needs of the research I am helping with.  C)  I get to hang out with awesome people– High School and older.

I also know where I’m living at UCF now too… In Lake Claire.  They are suites with 4 personal rooms, a living room, a kitchen, and TWO bathrooms.  I also found all of my roommates on facebook which is either really cool or realllly lame.  They all seem like great guys so I’m really excited about living with those guys.

Well I think that’s all I got… Maybe more tomorrow.

Matt

DVORAK and other stuff

Well I’m learning DVORAK, therefore this entire blog has been written on a DVORAK keyboard layout.  (And therefore took forever to type)

I haven’t been motivated to blog in several days… I think it’s because I’m trying to process Romans 6-8.

Quick summary:

In chapter 6 Paul basically talks about Jesus defeating death and, therefore, sin as well as sin not being our master anymore. In 7 he explains that believers in Christ are not bound by the power of the law, but by the Holy Spirit which is an even higher power then voices his frustration with the constant struggle that he has with sin.  Chapter 8 then reinforces the “end of sin’s control over us.”

I have a constant struggle with sin.

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” Romans 7:18-19

I’m pretty discouraged when I screw up again and again and again because I say that I love Jesus. (7:22 –”I love God’s law with all my heart.”)

In fact I feel about like Paul and I begin to think I’m a “miserable person” (7:24) who must not really love Christ because He defeated death and I died with Him, therefore I assume that I should not be able to sin anymore.

That’s what Romans 6:14 says… “Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.”   Right?

Check this out though:

” So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” Romans 7:23-25

How can both be true and apply?

6:14 declares that we as believers in Christ are now under God’s grace and that sin no longer condemns us to death, and does not say that we lack the ability to sin.  Even though Christ died for all of our sins (and the fact that Christ is in us) we still have to contend with temptation and our natural bent towards sin.  God does not take away our intrinsic sinful nature even though we desire it to be taken away.

Application (for me anyways):

I’m human and will screw up but that does not invalidate or eternally impact my relationship with Christ Jesus because “there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1  Learn from your mistakes and start new in Christ Jesus.

di’,f.praoeihtadtdiuethoxd

I could go on and on.  There is SO much stuff in Romans 6-8.  I’m probably not because all this DVORAK takes its toll on you after only learning it last night.

SICK

You must watch this.

Can you imagine flying (not just falling through the sky) with nothing except a wing on?

I want to do something that crazy and revolutionary one day.

Good grief… more anxiousness.

It’s finally hitting me.

Reality.

Three wednesdays.

Gone from youth group forever.

It’s not even that I enjoy the programs, productions, or activities that much. I’m not sure it’s ever been about that for me. I never (well almost never) threw dodgeballs on Gym Night or went on outings because I enjoyed the activity.

I just love the relationships that God gives me with people.

I really mean that.

I think God has gifted me extremely heavily in close discipling situations, aka one-on-one, let’s just hang out and talk… live life together. Just like Jesus did… He said “come and follow me” or merely hang out with me and see what you may.

I guess what I’m really anxious about is losing those relationships that have grown me in my relational skills and my relationship with Christ in 3 weeks. I KNOW that there will be new ones. But it just won’t be the same. It will be better. You know why? Because God is faithful to fulfill his plans to prosper us for HIS will.

I’m excited. About college. About new relationships. About life.

What are you anxiously excited about?

say what?

Well I just took my final AP Exam — Chemistry.  I must say all of my AP exams this year were not as simple as I planned, but I’m sure a lot of people thought that, so I should be ok.

Anyways, I’m done with taking college classes in high school and am essentially done with high school altogether.  Now to see how much of that extra work really paid off in terms of college credits come orientation in July.

<sentimentality>

(From www.xkcd.com — #422)

Sometimes I feel like this.  Hah.  I wish I could just be myself around people.  Not that Prom wasn’t fun, but that in other instances I wish I could have talked about what I really wanted to talk about or hang out with those other friends.

I guess I trust that God’s been working through all of it — and I’ve seen a lot of it… but I guess it’s ok to think about it sometimes.

High school has gone by so fast.  It seems like I was taking freshman classes just a couple months ago.

</sentimentality>

the initial reasoning

I have been fighting the urge to start blogging for about two weeks now. I’m still not sure why.

I think it may be because I’m scared of people thinking I’m weird for writing my true thoughts down on the internet or for putting myself out there. But I think putting myself out there in spirit and in truth is exactly what I want to do.

I also think I want more communication with people that I don’t know and a deeper communication with the people that I do know and don’t really get to talk to in any depth. That is where I see a blog come in, especially in the world of Facebook and Myspace where everyone is always checking on what everyone else is up to.

Anyways, more later. My final AP exam, Chemistry, is tomorrow morning at 7:30AM and it’s already past the 8-hours-of-sleep-possible demarcation.

If anyone is out there — Why did you start blogging?